Saturday, June 2, 2012

How to measure 11 years.

So, it’s our anniversary today. 11 years! Last night I was thinking about it as I was painting a Goodwill dresser purple for Annie’s room - thinking how it might be more accurate to measure our marriage in coats of paint than in years. Then, obviously, I got the Rent song in my head (“Seasons of Love”), which is adorable but kind of depressing - you know just like us :) Well, we’re not depressing, but our prognosis kind of is, and the reality is that for as much as we love each other, we might not get 50-60 years together (or we might). But, we’ve had 11 years so far and I started making a list. No matter how long we have together, you can measure our marriage in:

  • choices, decisions, and lots of re-dos. 
  • arguments, “I’m sorries,” and forgiveness granted. 
  • pregnancy tests, disappointments, and shouts of joy. 
  • Diapers, and bottles, and midnight feedings. 
  • Appointments, and forms filled out, and $20 co-pays 
  • Happy Meals and babysitters and frozen pizzas for stolen date nights. 
  • Road trips, and miles, and on-time oil changes. 
  • Passport stamps and visas and airport greetings. 
  • Good news and bad news and friends to share it with. 
  • Text messages and emails and love letters before there were cell phones. 
  • House guests and parties and visits round the country. 
  • Dollars raised and saved and spent and given away. 
  • The number of times we’ve promised ourselves we’d buy each other bikes (and use them).
  • Rolled eyes, sarcastic comments, slammed doors and tip-toes back. 
  • Flowers, and presents, and celebrations. 
  • Crayons bought and lost and caps left off of markers. And artwork for the refrigerator. 
  •  Attempts at crossing a cultural divide, and failures to pronounce the easiest Malayalam correctly.
  • Wedding rings (given, lost, and upgraded). 
  • Rickshaws and faux pas, and help wrapping a sari. 
  • School programs, and pictures, and rounds of applause. 
  • Coaching, and shin guards, and post-game snack times. 
  • Prayers, praises, and finding that when our rope has ended, there’s still a hand to hold. 

 It sure doesn’t seem like eleven years is long enough to fit all of that into our lives. Life may not always be long enough, but dang if it isn’t beautiful. Oh, and in case I sound too morbid, I’m fully intending on another 50 years together.  Here’s to Year 12 and then 2051 when you’re all invited for cake and dancing for our golden anniversary.


  1. It's never morbid to see how beautiful life is, even though it is tumultuous. Grace and Peace on your beautiful love for each other and God.

  2. You are such a gifted writer. What a beautiful post. Totally get it -- we beat you to 11 years by a week. :-)

  3. First of all, who is that groomsmen three in from the right? Can you set me up with him? Second of all, LOVE your life and everything you've crammed into it thus far! And I will be at that party in 2051 - I'll be 70, but I'll still try to bust a move or two...Love you both! Happy Anniversary!

  4. This is beautiful, Susie. Thanks for sharing. Happy Anniversary!

  5. You are truly an example of someone choosing joy and taking advantage of the abundant life that Jesus has promised us! Thank you for sharing!

  6. To see the beauty of a rose in the midst of thorns is an ability very few people have. Thanks be to God who helps us see glory in the midst of the cross. Love is not a matter of quantity but rather a qualitative experience of grace. Ben and Susie - you are a true reflection of God's love.