Being pregnant and having a brain tumor makes you kind of famous. I've gotten quite a bit of attention lately, which has been at times funny, embarrassing, heartwarming, and always humbling that so many people are praying for us. I mean - SO MANY people - all around the world.
We just got back from a few days getaway at Great Wolf Lodge in Mason, OH. It was so super fun and a much-needed break from doctors. Charlie kept saying, "no hospital?" which is pretty heartbreaking. Whether it's the baby or the tumor, I still find myself fading physically pretty quickly, but nothing picks up your spirits more than seeing the mix of rage and delight on your kids' faces when a bucket of water dumps on their heads.
Through this whole thing, Ben and I have kept laughing. Life is funny, even when it's sad. And we have three funny kids and funny friends and we think we're pretty funny too. And, really, what else is there to do in this situation but laugh at how bizarre this whole experience has been? I'm a real-life Grey's Anatomy episode.
The verse that keeps coming to mind is from Proverbs 31, where in talking about that elusive "ideal" woman (wisdom?), it says "She laughs at the days to come." Most of Proverbs 31.... well, in our AIA world, we might say it "lies outside of my giftedness," (ha!) but what a gift God has given me - the ability to laugh. Obviously, I'm not laughing because I don't think this is serious or because I'm arrogant enough to think that the future can't hold bad news. But, there is a lot to laugh about. And, ultimately, a craniotomy can't take from me what is most important.
That being said, the last couple of days, I've been a bit of an emotional wreck. I am scared - mostly of what I'll be like after surgery. I've had my favorite songs on repeat, and if you want to know which ones are really keeping me going, listen to "All Must Be Well" by Matthew Smith and "Thy Mercy My God" by Sandra McCracken. (I think... I could be wrong - I DO have a brain tumor, let's not forget!)
Well, I just wanted to say hi. Every message has meant so much to me, and I wish I was writing everyone back personally, but I'm assuming you understand :) What beautiful friends and family and friends of friends I have!